I have officially been on American soil now for a whole week. i wont lie it has been very hard. i love living daily life with people in community amidst the struggle and joys,the day to day. its hard not being a part of the small things going on there. i do miss things, but i know i will be back to Haiti, i am very at peace about that. i also know i am suppose to be here now. its my humanness that is craving to be back there so badly, my spiritual side knows i am where i am suppose to be right now. its trying to find the balance of those two places and being content in it.
i am at my parents right now and its a blessing. i can completely unwind here. i can relax and not feel obligated. i can have fun conversations with my parents, watch good movies, eat good food, enjoy the life away from the city, give my dog some love that she desperately needs and just be. however i think it also partly makes transition a bit harder as i am not so busy. it is easier to think about Haiti and miss being so proactive in the world when i am here resting. i know i need it, but i often crave to have a return date.
the first days all i really did was sleep, watch TV and movies, and eat. then i worked a little on my application for graduate school. since Sunday i have been a bit more proactive with my time so i am distracted and not thinking about it as much. but when ever there is a calm moment my brain and spirit go there. everyday i am online praying for an update from Dorothy or Kez, someone to tell me what i am missing and how the kids are doing.
i need to grief the fact that i am not there anymore. i know it will take time...i am trying to give myself grace. as my Father in heaven has such big plans for me and i know i am following his will...i just cant see it all right now you know. His grace is sufficient, His plans are beyond beautiful, this i must remember.
<3 <3 <3
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