cursing and crying....

So it is official... i seriously need a new job.... yes, Junior, my husband would probably say lets not write this and put it on public display...be thankful you have a job... this is true...and i probably should be following his advice...because i am thankful...it could always be worse....

yet....

i am tired, tired of being in positions that are full of micro-managing, horrible communication, lack of direction, lack of the resources one needs to succeed, not being empowered and not being in the place your gifts and passions meet, specifically mine...

most of my jobs since college have been this...some just in small doses...some done not intentional, but through their own struggles, some more extreme then others... some were amazing, but still the empowerment was a struggle...

but this job i am in right now has been the worst...it is not like me to cuss or want to cuss people out for that matter...but this job makes me so grumpy... i dread going in....i often want to cry or cuss when i am there...and as soon as i leave i want a glass of wine or a nap to help me deal with the time spent there...

i don't want to live like this, it's just not me... i am believing in the LORD...that yes He opened the door for me to be there, but He does not want me to be in a place like that...

maybe the connections i made with kids for that short period was all He wanted, and i am honored to have spent almost 5 months with them all, or perhaps they need me to invest in them further... the cool thing is they are all old enough that it does not have to end with me leaving the job....between facebook and texting, and several living close to us... i can still connect with the ones that would want/need me to...

with all this said i have started looking at jobs in Kansas City with the talk of us moving, but the reality is i know we won't be moving in the next few weeks...so i need something else...KCMO is more like in the next year or two... so where to go in the meantime...

i was praying about it and the Lord placed two organizations on my heart-

the Humane Society, which at first i thought really, that's not really people... but it is....helping families to adopt pets to bring them joy....that sounds amazing actually....i have applied and sent my resume to the main person who hires and i am planning on calling, emailing and maybe stopping in again on Monday...i want them to know how interested i am!

the other is Map International, Inc.  which i actually have wanted to work at for a long time now, but they are never hiring and i am leery of taking jobs that are not flexible. Junior and i want to be able to go to Haiti for  longer periods of time or on the spare of a moment if needed, plus all my family is in the Midwest...so wanting the flexibility to travel is important to me... but i started thinking that if i am up front with them, MAP of all places surely would understand this...however their website says they aren't hiring, but i'm still going to try... Monday...

family and friends...please pray with me... i need something else...and fast...

i still enjoy working at wake up and i tried to see if i could come back full-time, but there were no hours available...so i believe that Lord has something else in store...and going back to being full-time there is not the plan...

i am still opening my etsy shop, and super excited about that, but it won't be enough to step out of the job that's killing me... one day i hope that Turst in the Treasure will be that successful,  i would love that...but it will no doubt, be a process that takes time...

with all of this said the Lord is convicting me to watch my mouth and to be thankful,  because all that really matters is that His name be glorified...my journey is one that is beautiful only because of His grace and mercy....so reality check...be humble and remember who He is.... this was all revealed to me this morning as He gave me Proverbs 30... it is not an easy scripture to read...

verse 8-9 "Keep deception and lies far from me, give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is my portion, that I not be full and deny You and say, "who is the Lord?" or that i not be in want and steal and profane the name of my God."

verse 32-33 "If you have been foolish in exalting yourself, or if you have plotted evil, put your hand on your mouth. For churning of milk produces butter, and pressing the nose brings forth blood; so the churning of anger produces strife."

but just like a good Father does, he also showed me His love before he even addressed the need for me to remember where i stand in the grand scheme of things... He started me off with Psalms 20

bits and pieces:

"May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble!....May He send you help from the sanctuary, and support you from Zion!....May He grant your hearts desires and fulfill all your counsel. we will sing for joy over your victory.....Some boast in chariots and some in horses, but we will boast in the name of the Lord, our God....May the King answer us in the day we call."

so i am trying to shut my mouth and rest in the fact that He will grant the desires of my heart....

AMEN!

Today

On my heart today...Slavery...

 


You know, it still exists...


since 2004, this is about how long i have know...that was the year i was educated and made aware...

that this thing, evil, unrighteous thing, that we learn ended with Lincoln and was declared no more injustice with civil rights....

still exists....

yes still exists.... ALL OVER THE WORLD

from bonded labor, to indentured servants, to child soldiers and sex slaves...

it is all over...

an industry that is more profitable than any...as they say you can sell and use a human over and over and over again....

it makes me sick, literally sick....

that this can happen to someone before they even can read and write... taken and forced...

oh the hurt...

i cannot even comprehend...

but i DO believe....

there is redemption and restoration...

this is why we must not sit back in the temptation of apathy...

but stand up, speak out...and act...

for this is the generation...

this CAN be the season...

that this evil, unrighteous thing...

ENDS!


the following are some resources i put to help you learn more as well as connect with some organizations doing some amazing things to combat modern day slavery....JOIN THE MOVEMENT!


http://www.againstourwill.org/     http://www.polarisproject.org/     http://www.facebook.com/walkfree.org

http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/     http://www.state.gov/j/tip/id/help/index.htm

http://www.thedailymuse.com/education/the-fight-for-freedom-7-organizations-combating-human-trafficking/

Less than 2 weeks...

Each day gets closer to having my Etsy store go live and i am excited....realizing that i have a lot still to learn, but despite that i will open the store and learn as i go because if i tried to figure it out i will never open it!

so thanks to some amazing friends....it's coming along

i have talked with my friend Cyle Lewis about her experience as a shop owner and she has given me much encouragement! check out her shop here!

My friend Robbie is motivating me in the business details, like shipping and policies...which i am so grateful for because it is not my specialty... but it's a learning process!

My friend Sarah Deshaw is helping me to take amazing photos of my goods to sell...check her photography out here!

My friend James Ramirez is helping me to design an awesome shop banner for my store...and he has great skill when it comes to this kinda stuff.... something i need help with....so thankful for his willingness to do so....check some of his work out here!

many friends helped me with deciding on my shop name, but especially Lindsay Morris and my sweet husband Junior!

which by the way...the name is.....TRUST in the TREASURE! luke 12:34 (there is much meaning in this name and you can read more about it once the shop opens!

All this to say....i could not do my Etsy shop, TRUST in the TREASURE, without the help of people that i love! in less than 2 weeks i hope to have it up and running ready for people to shop!

Blessings!

stirring....

i feel like the Lord might be stirring something, well, He always is, but in our lives specifically.

Junior, my husband, is probably the most thankful guy anyone will ever meet, he rarely complains....(well he does have a bit of road rage, but we work on that ;) so to hear him complain about something is often a surprise...but a few weeks ago Junior told me for the first time ever that he doesn't really like living in Brunswick, GA... i was taken aback...because he has never complained about it, ever. then again, he doesn't complain about anything much at all.

me on the other hand...often with my self and my own journey i am a complainer....or at least since the marketplace closed and i no longer had a job (Much Ministries, inc.) that i LOVED....which has been about 16 months....which feels like forever...and i am tired of this season...complaining and feeling like i am just going through the motions...

Yes i can name all kinds of things that i love....in fact since junior has confessed his complaint i now keep reminding him of all the things i like about living in Georgia... funny how roles can reverse so quickly...

i mean now i can see....more clearly...

i love living near the ocean, and being able to walk on the pier, its beautiful
i love getting to have sand in my toes within 15 minutes of a drive
i love our church, it is full of the holy spirit...i am always overwhelmed when i worship there...so good
i love having a home that is ours and fixing it up together...
i love the few close friends we have made that are real...and so amazing...i am honored to call them friends
i love not having winter.... i mean the lowest its ever gotten here in GA is 27 degrees... and winter is short
i love the garage sales on saint simons, and the antique stores i have fallen in love with...
i love volunteering with HIS Ministries and Simple Love... so blessed by these world changing organizations
i love that so many people here LOVE Haiti
i love that my husband has family within driving distance
i love that flying to Haiti is a lot cheaper and faster
i love that we get to go to Kompa parties and he gets to be so happy djing them
i love that friends and family can vacation to see us- because we live by the ocean
i love that there are lots of islands around us and places like savannah near by the we can enjoy
i love the Dairy Queen by our house and the Goodwill in walking distance

And last but not least i love that there are reasons that the Lord has us here, despite my understanding of it...i KNOW His purpose is great...

but He is stirring...

since then Junior has looked at houses online in Kansas City, where my family and friends are... but i haven't put much stock in it because for me...how could we just live in the house we bought for only a year... when we bought this i thought we would be here for another 3-5 years, hoping for 3 max. but this house was a miracle house and there really is no way that we couldn't make a good profit off of it, even with the market the way it is....

now i have started just browsing the jobs in KCMO, but nothing ever seems to fit me...

what if i could get paid for this blog and do my etsy shop...those things i can take anywhere! i already am working on getting my etsy shop going...so what do you think about this job, getting paid for blogging?

these are just thoughts going through my head..... please feel free to tell me what you think!

there is some stirring going on....

Thoughts of Etsy

So i love to create... i don't do it like i should as it is so refreshing to my soul... so let me break it down...from the beginning so bare with me as i process...

ever since Much Ministries, Inc.  closed down their stateside part i have never quite found my place here again in Georgia... or at least when it comes to a job... nothing has compared or met my passions and talents with the need and positions out there...

and to be honest after this past trip to Haiti it's been harder... to be at peace where i am, where we are... i felt that leading a team, doing ministry in Haiti together, seeing how much Junior shines in that place... it just felt so right... like why God, why are we still in the states... still in just "jobs" to pay the bills and be.

i know the Lord has a reason and His plans and time is ALWAYS better than our own...but i was really in a frustrated place when i returned and went back to the jobs i have... i almost felt like a failure...see my whole life i have been told i can do anything i set my mind to...i can do what i love... i have options... go after my dreams... so why was i just in jobs to pay the bills...

this is where my wonderful husband comes in and reminds me to be thankful and i start to see the balance that the Lord has made in putting us together....

Junior being from Haiti... a nation that is 80% unemployed he looks at a job..a roof over our head and food on the table as a blessing...we are successful... me on the other hand... i feel like complaining and a failure because it isn't my dream job or doing what i love...

so with that said...we have a balance...he reminds me to be thankful and realize that hey it may be a job but at least we can have food on the table and take care of each other! and i can help remind him that we should still be dreaming of doing what we love one day and that the Lord has more for us than just meeting our basic needs...

but still... in the process of me complaining we started brainstorming ways to make me feel more content... more happy with life here...more pleased with my jobs...

then ETSY came to mind.... an online website for people to create their own stores... stores for people that make handmade stuff or have vintage things....

well i LOVE vintage things...and i make things with my hands...handmade whenever i can... so by the end of this month i am going to have my store up and running...

a bit nervous...as i make things and would like them, but who would actually spend money on it.... but like my friend sarah says..."you'll never know unless you try."

so here i go...about to try...just looking for a name now...this seems to be the hardest part...

but wow... if my store could have lots of favor and people purchasing...maybe it could be a full time thing...that would be AMAZING!!!!! i would love to stay at home and create...make my own schedule and invest in the things i love all day long... what a dream....hope it comes true!

that's all about my thoughts on ETSY! i will let you know as soon as my store gets up so you all can go and shop.... :)

just for fun...here are some bits and pieces of a mixed media piece i did... sadly it was given to a family friend so it wont be for sale....

     

changing perspective & being intentional

oh...and i got to see poutchino... how i love him!

although i will tell you i was very intentional about not giving him more attention than everyone else...as i was leading a team and needed to be available and felt that this trip was more for me to focus on that as well as the outreach we did with the women...

which by the way was SO amazing! i am so honored to work with these wonderful women when i am in Haiti...to call them friends and to encourage them... they are the real heroes behind these children in need of care and a home...as they travel everyday...before daylight...in the rain...you name it, to come and take care of them. they are with them more than anyone...and often the mother figures that they have.

i pray that this outreach to the workers expands with each trip we take.... because often when teams come the workers are not invested in... not intentionally, but it is harder to connect with an adult when there is a language barrier, but i believe that investing in these workers will in turn have an impact on the children... it is so important to my heart and i firmly believe the Lord put it there.

so yes i was beyond glad to see this young man who is getting so tall, but super honored to share my heart and say thanks to the women who love on him and take care of him daily.

Haiti Team 2012

i wanted to focus and process a bit of our trip to Haiti this past month... it was so incredible to lead a team with my husband for the first time...i believe this really was my favorite part...seeing him in action, loving on his people in Haiti...this is where he shines and it is truly beauty-full! i cannot wait for the day we get to be there full time.

Thanks to our extended family, the Melvin's, we were able to lead this trip. We planned it and lead it with the  help of David Melvin, but it was their support and church in Marianna, FL that really made this trip possible, financially and most of the people came for there as well.

We did a different kind of trip than what a typical trip looks like- staying very stationary in one place. We did it different because we wanted people to experience Haiti in several different facets. We stayed at Junior's sister's ministry, El Shaddai, so every evening this is where we spent our time... but during the day we went out and exposed the group to different ministries and areas within Haiti.

this was the trip schedule: (minus a day as we missed a flight and came later)

Wednesday:
Arrived, went to Sherrie Fausey's to tour her school, share stories and play with kids, then to El Shaddai to get settled in

Thursday & Friday:
Worked with a Haitian pastor and his feeding program, we did a program with the kids called Character first, then went back to El Shaddai

Saturday:
Toured Leogane, the epi-center of the earthquake, lunch with junior's family (wonderful Haitian food and hospitality), also connected with a small church that is rebuilding after the earthquake...spent time with their deacons in prayer and song...blessed them with some funding to continue building- a very beautiful day

Sunday:
Church at El Shaddai, Ladies outreach with staff, fun day with children- coloring, jump rope, bubbles, glow stick party! lots of fun

Monday:
Faith Hope Love Infant Rescue, with Dorothy Pearce, did women's outreach with staff, played with kids and helped organize, went to epidor for a glimpse of a nice restaurant in Haiti, back to El Shaddai

Tuesday:
said goodbyes and flew back to USA

God really did an amazing job with our team of 9! it is a rare thing to have a team where not once is there some kind of conflict or personality frictions that have to be worked through... people struggling a bit to connect, communicate and work well together.... but this team was a gift...everyone did an amazing job!