Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Dorothy is Gone


So this morning we took Dorothy to the airport…Dottie drove, but i will be picking her up when she returns. dottie had to drive because i dont know the way to the airport, but now i do so no worries.

Kevs has chicken pox or so we think. Cha Cha seems to have it to, but he doesn’t seem to be itching as much or suffering, where poor kevs, I think he is a bit miserable. Anyway, all this to say I may have a house full of children who have the chicken pox. We haven’t been able to get the kids vaccinated for that yet…so yea. Pray that it doesn’t spread and if it does that no one will have a temperature over 102 and that they will all heal fast…if they get it. LORD I hope they don’t. Yesterday we went and finished running errands and got Nephtalie’s chest X-ray. I have to take her back to the clinic in the hospital oh Thursday so the Doctor can see the results. Funny isn’t it, that we have to go to another location to get x-rays. Everything you do in the hospitals here it seems you have to provide. The care is nowhere what it is in the states. Dorothy even has a razor blade in the emergency hospital bag because if they have to shave the head for some reason you have to provide the razor for them to do that. Its quite ridiculous. However when there is lack of resources and lack educated people its just the way it is. It is still very heartbreaking though.

Okay I think that’s all for today. Pray for me…I’m the boss for the next 2 weeks or so. Pray everything goes smoothly. Pray Poutchino has no seizures, that the children stay healthy, that we have EDH each night, that the peace continues, that I drive safe every time I am out, that I can communicate when needed with the small vocabulary that I have and anything else that comes to your mind.

THANKS for being my prayer warriors, supporters, encouragers, readers, friends and so much more. :)

Blessings,
Natasha

Monday, April 28, 2008

bout time...

Okay it has been only about a week, but i feel like i have SO much to tell. as always when its been awhile i try to be short and sweet with the large amount of info.

Neptalie is out of the hospital! PRAISE GOD! she still has to get an x-ray of her chest and go back to see the doctor one more time, but she is home and doing much better!

Regina's mom moved in with us (i think i maybe mentioned that already) she is taking care of Regina, but really has no clue how to be a mom. She wanted to spend the nights out and always coming up with excuses about something. Friday when we returned from healing hands she had left with Regina and hasn't been back since. It is sad because i don't know that Regina with get the care she needs, but you cant save everyone and she is with her mother. hopefully the mother will learn and do her best to take care of her.

On Thursday a woman with her baby and 3 other women came to the house. we talked to them for probably 3 hours (btw- Emanuel is the best so patient and honest)and then we had the 3 women leave (they weren't helping and we found 2 of them didn't even know her). the woman stay with her baby and talked for another hour probably. it was so exhausting and the story is always changing or being misunderstood. the baby boy was 5 months old and severely malnourished. she was giving him carrot juice because she couldn't afford formula and she wasn't able to breast feed probably from lack of nutrition in her own body. she had gone to a doctor and some how came out believing she couldn't have children again because of being so anemic. we had to explain to her that she could, but she might die if she does. the baby probably already has brain damage from lack of nutrients, you can tell this from the fact that his skull is not fully developed. its very heartbreaking. Dorothy didn't feel the holy spirit leading her to take in the baby and my heart was torn. she felt that she really wanted to teach the mother a lesson and she couldn't leave the country and put a baby in my care that could die on me. she didn't feel comfortable with that. and to be honest i wasn't sure that i felt comfortable with it either. we kept giving her other options, but it seemed she had tried them all and closed all the doors we offered. finally we gave her 2 options...1.we would take the baby in and she would have to get a job and pay to help get formula and so forth, or 2.she could come with her baby everyday here and we would provide all the formula, diapers, etc., but she would leave at 6 every night because we still had Regina's mom. she left and hasn't come back.

here's the thing thou, we have room now so that that mother could stay because Regina's mom left. so pray she comes back. i know the above sounds harsh to some of you maybe, but you cant always give hand outs...sometimes you cant take in a child, sometimes they need to see how actions have consequences. its never an easy decision to make. you always want to help, but sometimes don't have the means. there is so much more to this than i wrote, but know that we did are best and just pray...sometimes that is literally all you can do.

oh what next...i met some more new people this week...Emory and Mary Wilson. they are in the process of moving down here to live for 2 years being christian light missionaries in Gonaives, which is a couple hours past bercy. they are really sweet people. they know the brooks family and I'm blessed to have met them!!! they have met a little boy who is severally burned and also asked Dorothy to take him in, but he is so bad, and there isn't a lot here for burned victims, again she is leaving the country and doesn't want to risk me having to deal with the death of a baby. so its been a bit sad lately. part of me thinks God just really wants me to have more responsibility when she is gone, but maybe that's just me making light hearted the situations.

anyway we are trying to figure out how to get the baby into the one hospital that might be able to help. the thing is someone has to be with the child in the hospital at all times, because they wont play mama...changing diapers, etc. therefore some family member has to come in to PAP with the child and no member seems to be able to or willing, who knows. also this hospital wont help anyone if they know that there is an association with 'a blanc.' so pray that we get something figure out, because burns if they get infected, well there isn't a lot of hope for the child.

sorry i wasn't full of much happy news, but its life sometimes. God is still working and moving. i see blessings everyday despite the circumstances!

Blessings,
tasha

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Espoir and more


Last night we had to take Naphtalie to the hospital down the street. It was about 9pm when we left with Sr. Lucien and a bag full of things. Hospitals here are VERY different. The only one I have been to so far is Sacred Heart and it is amazing, almost like an American hospital. Espoir (Hope Hospital) is right down from our house, a private hospital and the administrator is actually Gladys, Dorothy’s landlord here. However it was nothing like sacred heart. Very dead inside, no one really communicates what’s going on, no organization, trying to take a babies plus by fingers on her wrist, only one doctor. In the fist 30-45 minutes nothing was done that me a Dorothy couldn’t have done ourselves. In the meantime, Nephatalie is desperately struggling for air and needing oxygen. The amazing thing was there was an oxygen tank right there and they put an IV in her, which she wasn’t dehydrated. Anyway lets. Just say it was interesting. She is still there, they have her on oxygen now and the same antibiotic that Narlande was taking. The antibiotic will stop a bacterial infection, but we do not exactly know what is going on. The nannies are taking turns being with her at the hospital. Pray she gets better fast. Not only because its no fun having little babies sick in the hospital, but also because Dorothy is leaving for the states soon and we also are running really low on funds for this coming month.

In fact, Dorothy looked over funds today and it doesn’t look so good. Apparently, Christian light informed her of her low amount, which really is about the total of what it takes to do pay roll each month and nothing else. We know that God will provide and we will of course cut back where we can. however pray because I know Dorothy is more worried about leaving now and I am then in return a bit more nervous about her going, but I trust that the Lord. I do not want to ask for money and this is not a plea, I just want you to know what is going on considering this is why I have the blog. Nonetheless if you do feel lead you can send a check to Dorothy through Christian Light foundation.

Dorothy Pearce
Christian Light Foundation
Post Office Box 23881
Jacksonville, FL 32241

GOD BLESS,
Natasha Taylor

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Dorothy's update April

Port au Prince has been peaceful for the past week. Everything is back to normal. Praise God! Thank you for your prayers.

Baby Regina saw the doctor last Friday. He confirmed she has spina bifida and will never be able to walk. The goal of therapy and any surgery would be to move her legs to a more normal position. Her mother was devastated by this news. We have tried to reassure her that Regina can have a normal life in every other way but she will need her mother’s help.

Since there is nothing we can do to improve Regina’s condition, it is time for her to return to her mother’s care. Unfortunately, mom does not have a home of her own so we invited her to stay with us for a while. As I observe this young mother with her baby, I see that she knows absolutely nothing about how to be a mother or even, for that matter, how to behave in a home. All of us, especially our Haitian staff, will try to bring this young lady to Jesus and teach her how to be a mother. This is a tough situation for all of us. Please pray for this lady and baby.

Mackenzie, who was 3 years old in December, took his first steps alone this weekend. He is the little boy who has brain damage from being abused by his mother. When he first came to us almost a year and a half ago he could not even sit up. His progress is one of the most amazing things I have seen over the past few months. Praise God for saving his life!

Next week, on April 30th, I will fly home to Jacksonville for approximately 2 weeks. I will see a knee surgeon about repairing my right knee so I can go back to doing everything I could do a year ago. If surgery is indicated, it will be planned for late summer or early fall. Natasha is a little nervous about being responsible for all these children while I am gone so please pray for her.

Sadly, our puppy Goldie was poisoned. She died a very painful death Friday. We are still sad; I am angry at the person who did it; Kervens prayed for the person. I felt ashamed (of myself) and proud (of Kervens) that I wanted revenge but Kervens prayed for the person’s repentance and salvation. God is doing wonderful things in Kervens’ heart.

Natasha has been very sick for the past few days with a GI virus. She is finally getting up and around again. Baby Nerlande is much better. Baby Nephtalie is upstairs today getting the best treatment we can give her for croup: a bucket of hot water beside her bed with a sheet spread over the bed and bucket to make a tent. (A cool mist humidifier would be better but we don’t have one yet.) Our nanny Sr. Jesula’s 5 yr old son, Harry, has the same GI virus Natasha had. We brought him to our house today to rehydrate him.

This afternoon Gertie, Richardson and Isna rode in the car with Kervens and I to take our nanny and her son home. These three little ones - 4, 3 and 2 ½ years old - seldom get out of the house. Isna has almost never been out. It was so fun driving and hearing hushed voices in the back seat exclaiming with awe: “Gade!” (gah-day, meaning ‘look’). We stopped at the store and bought candy on the way home. They giggled when we went over bumps, a frequent occurrence since many roads haven’t been maintained for 10 to 20 years and driving is like off-road mountain driving. It was a wonderful end to the day.

Blessings to you all, and many thanks for your support in this ministry to poor children and families in Haiti. We love you.

Dorothy Pearce

Monday, April 21, 2008

104.3

Yes i havent posted in what seems like forever because i think that i got whatever virus Nerlande (btw-she seems to be all better, still not eating your normal portions, but getting there.) was fighting and so many others seemed to be as well. Friday i was suppose to go the the van dams to watch movies and sleep over with some fellow young missionaries, but thursday is when it started. i just felt light headed and a bit naseaus. friday night was horrible and dorothy was so wonderful to play mom and take care of a bigger child you could say for a few hours. i had a tempature of 104.3, so we had to get that down. i havent had one that high since who knows when. but finally today it all seems to be gone. i am still a little exhausted, but did therapy with poutchino and help out a bit here and there.

what else poutchinos finger has an infection, looks like JJ's when his was real bad, so we have started soaking it, if it doesnt get better soon we might have to do an antibiotic because we cant risk infection getting into his shunt. he also is regressing a bit, that fever and grand mal seziure was a set back. also the riots and healing hands being closed for a week. finally i was sick and not able to work with him for awhile. last time we where at healing hands in the best non verbal way his therapist said he is too weak, needs more calories, balance no good. so PRAY...i'm real nervous he isnt going to walk on his own by the time i leave.

oh Nurse Mary came, as always on mondays, and discovered that Naphtalie may have croup or whooping cough. she sounds absolutely horrible, her breathing, gosh i pray it isnt whooping cough, babies can die from it. she is going on 5 months old and has the sweetest little face. tahnk God for the inverter because we can choose when to have electricity so we gave her a breathing treatment right away and then boiled some water brought her bed upstairs and made a imprevised hummitifier. pray she gets well soon.

regina's mom is officially moved in. dorothy has decided that since regina is not malnourished and her difficulties are life long she with not be keeping regina. dorothy feels that its just too important to take that bonding time away from the mother, when the mother needs to be learning how to take care of her child and work with her legs and so on. therefore she is her and we are taking one day at a time. she is every young and you can tell does not know much about having a child.

SORRY FOR THE LONG UDATE. hope life is grand on your side of the world.

LOVEx3

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

better

Nerlande is doing better, her feeding tube is out, she did vomit at all today and she seemed to be more like herself. i mean still quite lethargic, but getting better. still keep her in your prayers, but know she is on her way up!

today Dorothy was very sick though. she seems to be better thou now. however she stayed in her room all day and i drove to healing hands and ran a few other errands, so it seems i am getting a bit more comfortable with the driving.

the riots don't seemed to be going on this week, things have calmed down or so it seems. however continue to keep Haiti and the rise in cost here in your prayers. they are putting in a new prime minister, so also pray for discernment and wise leadership.

what else, Marie Carmelle left today. she is a wonderful woman and great with the children. she has a big heart. but it was time for her to move on. however we gave her a huge package to help start her new house, which she is suppose to be getting soon. we also will continue to pay for Jovani so he can keep getting therapy. therefore they will still be coming with us to healing hands on Wednesdays and Fridays. i will miss her and our study sessions at night, but it really is for the best. plus me and Dorothy are confident that she will make it. she is a very smart woman who is constantly praising and seeking the Lord.

so i guess that is the best update i can give you right now. hope life is beautiful wherever you are. LOVE LOVE LOVE

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Mrs. Chris

In the neighborhood we have Mrs. Chris' orphange and her husband, but she is great! today she came over and tried to put an IV in Nerlande, but ended up having to do a feeding tube. as you know Nerlande has been really sick with vomitting and diahrria. Chris has her masters in social work and before that she was a nurse in the ER for 10years, her ans her husband have been serving in haiti for at least 6 years now. she is so sweet. and if i need help with anything while dorothy is away i know she will be right there willing to help.

pray for Nerlande she needs fluids and to get better soon, she went to med lab today and had lots of test done. hopefully we will know something soon. KEEP PRAYING IN FAITH AND CONFEDIENCE.

thanks for everything. BLESSINGS

Dorothy's Update April 12, 2008

"We have a new baby! Regina was born January 25th. She is pretty and smart and happy! But her legs are frozen in the 'frog' position and she cannot move them. Her knees cannot be bent. She has no movement below the waist. We will see an orthopedic surgeon as soon as we can. Pray the riots will stop so we can take her to the doctor. Pray that she can be helped.

Regina’s 18 year old unmarried mother either can't or won't care for her. Regina was only 6 lbs on April 1st. She gained 1/2 lb her first week with us. We have moved her up from preemie to newborn sized diapers.

Have you heard news reports about rioting here? We stayed home Tuesday thru Thursday and finally got out of the house yesterday. Thank goodness! We were almost out of propane for cooking and flour for bread and stuff like that. The stores were crowded but at least they were open. We used this peaceful weekend to stock up on staples. There weren't any problems in my neighborhood except that we didn’t have electricity for those days. Our generator broke so we have been washing all of our clothes by hand. It is a really big job! 16 kids in diapers!!!!!

The radio said today that some people are demanding a new government. I’m not sure how they think that would help since prices are rising all over the globe but the riots may continue. The U.S. Embassy suspended operations in Haiti Wednesday and has issued a ‘no travel’ warning for U.S. citizens. Please don’t worry about us. We live in a stable area and will stay home if there is trouble.

Feed My Starving Children and USAID prepare packaged meals that meet all nutritional needs. We have received donations of rice meals from FMSC and soup mix from USAID that will provide us with food for a few weeks. Some of the families of children we have helped in the past have started to come to us for food. We have enough to share. Praise God!

Poutchino had another grand mal seizure last week. It started when we were in the car coming home from physical therapy. It was probably triggered by fatigue, hunger and a fever. We are trying harder to keep him on a consistent schedule. This precious 5 year old needs a good home in the U.S. Please pray for an adoptive family for him.

Most of our other children have had fevers, too. We have spent the last few days running around with the thermometer and tylenol and cold compresses. We thank God for our visiting nurse, Mary. She comes twice a week to check on the children and is available anytime we have an emergency. Only Nerlande (almost 1 yr) still has a fever and nausea. Please pray for her.

Haiti is only one troubled country in a world full of them. Jesus is our only hope. Each of us must do everything we can to help others know Him. Thank you for your prayers and help for my ministry in Haiti. I pray for you, too, wherever you are.

God bless you,
Dorothy Pearce"

Friday, April 11, 2008

EDH

so we havent had EDH electricity in two nights...so our inverter didnt get charged and we have had no electricity and been stuck inside for 3 days because of the manifestations outside. however we went out today and everything was fine. you could see some of the damamge that had been done...broken class, remenice of burned tires...and the gas stations were jammed packed, every place was busy...trying to stock up in case have to stay inside for awhile. we stocked up a ton.

since we couldnt go out and didnt have electricty we have been doing laundry by hand and also not able to go to healing hands. so my hands have 4 sores on them from washing by hands. it is such hard work, but we have been having SO much fun doing it altogether!

ok i have to go. sorry so quick, hopefully i will get a longer one in soon.

Blessings
tasha rae

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

video


i've wanted to post videos, but havent quite figured out how that all works. so i'm trying this. its a video from gosh maybe a month ago, but its real sweet and thought i should share. the boys (Kevs, Christian, Michael) singing Jesus loves me...

OK...IT DIDNT WORK. its too big of a file, i'm gonna have to take shorter video.

but just so you know and can imagine it...it was a very precious video!

nite...

ok the video didnt work so this pic is fun :) sorry

by the way

okay enough about news on the chaos...how bout on the babies!!!

we still are having fevers, but the spell is going down. today there was only about 4fevers so that was good.

Poutch and i havent done therapy in awhile bc he is still gaining his strength back from the grandma seizure and the fever, but hes coming around. the orthotics are really going to help him. i'm excited about those!

Emaire has been able to sit up on her own now for awhile and she is doing well! we had some nap time together the other day. I LOVED IT!!!

Regina the new baby is doing very well, but we have found that she probably has spina bifida and the main goal would be to eventually get her legs stretch out enough that she can sit in a wheelchair. Hopefully there will be a better analysis considering that prognosis isnt the best. but her little spirit is full of joy.

okay thats all for now. thanks. love love love.

news

I looked up a few articles to help you get a better grip on what is going on...but remember its always isolated areas, i mean in reality most of this stuff is happening downtown and on main streets.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7337792.stm

http://haitisupport.gn.apc.org/fea_news_index.html

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/americas/04/08/haiti.food.riots.ap/index.html


So what can i say things are getting a little crazy here, but please don't be worried. as long as you stay inside and keep informed on what areas are having manifestations (as they like to call it here), we would say rioting/demonstrations, you are truly fine and out of harms way.

it just is so hard to explain to the Haitians that the increase in cost is worldwide and that in all reality Haiti is not a very powerful country. even tonight when me and Kevs where saying prayers he just prayed and prayed for the manifestations to stop and for Preval to make the price of food go down. it was so innocent and real, but its not that simple you know.

Monday when we went to healing hands to get Poutchino's orthotics no staff was really there because the tap tap's aren't running. they burn ties on the roads which then really only makes the roads worse and the roads are already horrible. they are so hungry that they literally say "grangou clorox" meaning their stomach pains are so bad, they are dying.

pray that these prices worldwide go down because Haiti cannot absolutely cannot handle it. people are too poor to deal with the rise in costs. and they don't know how else to deal with their anger. its such a cycle of destruction it breaks my heart. the people here are so beautiful, you can tell this place use to be an absolutely beautiful country.

we are going to hopefully be able to go to the store tomorrow and stock up on flour and some other things in case we have to stay in doors for awhile.

anyway please dont worry too much about me because God has definitely put angel's around this home and He has me here for a reason. will you mainly pray for haiti, its leaders, the inflation that is going on, and peace peace peace.

blessings, tash

Sunday, April 6, 2008

fevers...oh my

THAT IS EXACTLY THE TRUTH. FEVERS...OH MY! we have had what seems like a dozen fevers a day. however it literit started about 3 days or so ago and it seems to be lingering. we have got a bug or something.

Poutchino had a grandma seizure again and the a bad fever. Thank goodness for Dr. Mike who we email about so many things and he always replies with such speed. its great. we had to put him on an antibiotic right away because if he has an infection and it gets into his chunt it would be absolutely horrible. he seems to be doing a bit better, but still not completely himself.

we are suppose to be going to healing hands tomorrow to get his feet fitted for braces (i cant think of the right word) to give him more support in his arch. however if he isnt doing well it will have to wait.

all this to say it has truly been SO CRAZY. KEEP US ON YOUR PRAYERS!

GOD BLESS,
NATASHA

Thursday, April 3, 2008

OBAMA

Okay so this really isnt about Haiti, but while i am away i am trying to stay as involved as i can with the elections. i know some of you may not be a fan, but i really love barack obama and couldnt help, but post his speech on race. it is one of the best speeches i have read from him and on the issues of race in america. i'm not saying you have to read this or agree i just really feel let to post it. thanks again for all your support, generosity and encouragement in serving here in haiti.

God Bless.

"We the people, in order to form a more perfect union."

Two hundred and twenty one years ago, in a hall that still stands across the street, a group of men gathered and, with these simple words, launched America's improbable experiment in democracy. Farmers and scholars; statesmen and patriots who had traveled across an ocean to escape tyranny and persecution finally made real their declaration of independence at a Philadelphia convention that lasted through the spring of 1787.

The document they produced was eventually signed but ultimately unfinished. It was stained by this nation's original sin of slavery, a question that divided the colonies and brought the convention to a stalemate until the founders chose to allow the slave trade to continue for at least twenty more years, and to leave any final resolution to future generations.

Of course, the answer to the slavery question was already embedded within our Constitution - a Constitution that had at its very core the ideal of equal citizenship under the law; a Constitution that promised its people liberty, and justice, and a union that could be and should be perfected over time.

And yet words on a parchment would not be enough to deliver slaves from bondage, or provide men and women of every color and creed their full rights and obligations as citizens of the United States. What would be needed were Americans in successive generations who were willing to do their part - through protests and struggle, on the streets and in the courts, through a civil war and civil disobedience and always at great risk - to narrow that gap between the promise of our ideals and the reality of their time.

This was one of the tasks we set forth at the beginning of this campaign - to continue the long march of those who came before us, a march for a more just, more equal, more free, more caring and more prosperous America. I chose to run for the presidency at this moment in history because I believe deeply that we cannot solve the challenges of our time unless we solve them together - unless we perfect our union by understanding that we may have different stories, but we hold common hopes; that we may not look the same and we may not have come from the same place, but we all want to move in the same direction - towards a better future for our children and our grandchildren.

This belief comes from my unyielding faith in the decency and generosity of the American people. But it also comes from my own American story.

I am the son of a black man from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas. I was raised with the help of a white grandfather who survived a Depression to serve in Patton's Army during World War II and a white grandmother who worked on a bomber assembly line at Fort Leavenworth while he was overseas. I've gone to some of the best schools in America and lived in one of the world's poorest nations. I am married to a black American who carries within her the blood of slaves and slaveowners - an inheritance we pass on to our two precious daughters. I have brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, uncles and cousins, of every race and every hue, scattered across three continents, and for as long as I live, I will never forget that in no other country on Earth is my story even possible.

It's a story that hasn't made me the most conventional candidate. But it is a story that has seared into my genetic makeup the idea that this nation is more than the sum of its parts - that out of many, we are truly one.

Throughout the first year of this campaign, against all predictions to the contrary, we saw how hungry the American people were for this message of unity. Despite the temptation to view my candidacy through a purely racial lens, we won commanding victories in states with some of the whitest populations in the country. In South Carolina, where the Confederate Flag still flies, we built a powerful coalition of African Americans and white Americans.

This is not to say that race has not been an issue in the campaign. At various stages in the campaign, some commentators have deemed me either "too black" or "not black enough." We saw racial tensions bubble to the surface during the week before the South Carolina primary. The press has scoured every exit poll for the latest evidence of racial polarization, not just in terms of white and black, but black and brown as well.

And yet, it has only been in the last couple of weeks that the discussion of race in this campaign has taken a particularly divisive turn.

On one end of the spectrum, we've heard the implication that my candidacy is somehow an exercise in affirmative action; that it's based solely on the desire of wide-eyed liberals to purchase racial reconciliation on the cheap. On the other end, we've heard my former pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, use incendiary language to express views that have the potential not only to widen the racial divide, but views that denigrate both the greatness and the goodness of our nation; that rightly offend white and black alike.

I have already condemned, in unequivocal terms, the statements of Reverend Wright that have caused such controversy. For some, nagging questions remain. Did I know him to be an occasionally fierce critic of American domestic and foreign policy? Of course. Did I ever hear him make remarks that could be considered controversial while I sat in church? Yes. Did I strongly disagree with many of his political views? Absolutely - just as I'm sure many of you have heard remarks from your pastors, priests, or rabbis with which you strongly disagreed.

But the remarks that have caused this recent firestorm weren't simply controversial. They weren't simply a religious leader's effort to speak out against perceived injustice. Instead, they expressed a profoundly distorted view of this country - a view that sees white racism as endemic, and that elevates what is wrong with America above all that we know is right with America; a view that sees the conflicts in the Middle East as rooted primarily in the actions of stalwart allies like Israel, instead of emanating from the perverse and hateful ideologies of radical Islam.

As such, Reverend Wright's comments were not only wrong but divisive, divisive at a time when we need unity; racially charged at a time when we need to come together to solve a set of monumental problems - two wars, a terrorist threat, a falling economy, a chronic health care crisis and potentially devastating climate change; problems that are neither black or white or Latino or Asian, but rather problems that confront us all.

Given my background, my politics, and my professed values and ideals, there will no doubt be those for whom my statements of condemnation are not enough. Why associate myself with Reverend Wright in the first place, they may ask? Why not join another church? And I confess that if all that I knew of Reverend Wright were the snippets of those sermons that have run in an endless loop on the television and You Tube, or if Trinity United Church of Christ conformed to the caricatures being peddled by some commentators, there is no doubt that I would react in much the same way

But the truth is, that isn't all that I know of the man. The man I met more than twenty years ago is a man who helped introduce me to my Christian faith, a man who spoke to me about our obligations to love one another; to care for the sick and lift up the poor. He is a man who served his country as a U.S. Marine; who has studied and lectured at some of the finest universities and seminaries in the country, and who for over thirty years led a church that serves the community by doing God's work here on Earth - by housing the homeless, ministering to the needy, providing day care services and scholarships and prison ministries, and reaching out to those suffering from HIV/AIDS.

In my first book, Dreams From My Father, I described the experience of my first service at Trinity:

"People began to shout, to rise from their seats and clap and cry out, a forceful wind carrying the reverend's voice up into the rafters....And in that single note - hope! - I heard something else; at the foot of that cross, inside the thousands of churches across the city, I imagined the stories of ordinary black people merging with the stories of David and Goliath, Moses and Pharaoh, the Christians in the lion's den, Ezekiel's field of dry bones. Those stories - of survival, and freedom, and hope - became our story, my story; the blood that had spilled was our blood, the tears our tears; until this black church, on this bright day, seemed once more a vessel carrying the story of a people into future generations and into a larger world. Our trials and triumphs became at once unique and universal, black and more than black; in chronicling our journey, the stories and songs gave us a means to reclaim memories that we didn't need to feel shame about...memories that all people might study and cherish - and with which we could start to rebuild."

That has been my experience at Trinity. Like other predominantly black churches across the country, Trinity embodies the black community in its entirety - the doctor and the welfare mom, the model student and the former gang-banger. Like other black churches, Trinity's services are full of raucous laughter and sometimes bawdy humor. They are full of dancing, clapping, screaming and shouting that may seem jarring to the untrained ear. The church contains in full the kindness and cruelty, the fierce intelligence and the shocking ignorance, the struggles and successes, the love and yes, the bitterness and bias that make up the black experience in America.

And this helps explain, perhaps, my relationship with Reverend Wright. As imperfect as he may be, he has been like family to me. He strengthened my faith, officiated my wedding, and baptized my children. Not once in my conversations with him have I heard him talk about any ethnic group in derogatory terms, or treat whites with whom he interacted with anything but courtesy and respect. He contains within him the contradictions - the good and the bad - of the community that he has served diligently for so many years.

I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community. I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother - a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe.

These people are a part of me. And they are a part of America, this country that I love.

Some will see this as an attempt to justify or excuse comments that are simply inexcusable. I can assure you it is not. I suppose the politically safe thing would be to move on from this episode and just hope that it fades into the woodwork. We can dismiss Reverend Wright as a crank or a demagogue, just as some have dismissed Geraldine Ferraro, in the aftermath of her recent statements, as harboring some deep-seated racial bias.

But race is an issue that I believe this nation cannot afford to ignore right now. We would be making the same mistake that Reverend Wright made in his offending sermons about America - to simplify and stereotype and amplify the negative to the point that it distorts reality.

The fact is that the comments that have been made and the issues that have surfaced over the last few weeks reflect the complexities of race in this country that we've never really worked through - a part of our union that we have yet to perfect. And if we walk away now, if we simply retreat into our respective corners, we will never be able to come together and solve challenges like health care, or education, or the need to find good jobs for every American.

Understanding this reality requires a reminder of how we arrived at this point. As William Faulkner once wrote, "The past isn't dead and buried. In fact, it isn't even past." We do not need to recite here the history of racial injustice in this country. But we do need to remind ourselves that so many of the disparities that exist in the African-American community today can be directly traced to inequalities passed on from an earlier generation that suffered under the brutal legacy of slavery and Jim Crow.

Segregated schools were, and are, inferior schools; we still haven't fixed them, fifty years after Brown v. Board of Education, and the inferior education they provided, then and now, helps explain the pervasive achievement gap between today's black and white students.

Legalized discrimination - where blacks were prevented, often through violence, from owning property, or loans were not granted to African-American business owners, or black homeowners could not access FHA mortgages, or blacks were excluded from unions, or the police force, or fire departments - meant that black families could not amass any meaningful wealth to bequeath to future generations. That history helps explain the wealth and income gap between black and white, and the concentrated pockets of poverty that persists in so many of today's urban and rural communities.

A lack of economic opportunity among black men, and the shame and frustration that came from not being able to provide for one's family, contributed to the erosion of black families - a problem that welfare policies for many years may have worsened. And the lack of basic services in so many urban black neighborhoods - parks for kids to play in, police walking the beat, regular garbage pick-up and building code enforcement - all helped create a cycle of violence, blight and neglect that continue to haunt us.

This is the reality in which Reverend Wright and other African-Americans of his generation grew up. They came of age in the late fifties and early sixties, a time when segregation was still the law of the land and opportunity was systematically constricted. What's remarkable is not how many failed in the face of discrimination, but rather how many men and women overcame the odds; how many were able to make a way out of no way for those like me who would come after them.

But for all those who scratched and clawed their way to get a piece of the American Dream, there were many who didn't make it - those who were ultimately defeated, in one way or another, by discrimination. That legacy of defeat was passed on to future generations - those young men and increasingly young women who we see standing on street corners or languishing in our prisons, without hope or prospects for the future. Even for those blacks who did make it, questions of race, and racism, continue to define their worldview in fundamental ways. For the men and women of Reverend Wright's generation, the memories of humiliation and doubt and fear have not gone away; nor has the anger and the bitterness of those years. That anger may not get expressed in public, in front of white co-workers or white friends. But it does find voice in the barbershop or around the kitchen table. At times, that anger is exploited by politicians, to gin up votes along racial lines, or to make up for a politician's own failings.

And occasionally it finds voice in the church on Sunday morning, in the pulpit and in the pews. The fact that so many people are surprised to hear that anger in some of Reverend Wright's sermons simply reminds us of the old truism that the most segregated hour in American life occurs on Sunday morning. That anger is not always productive; indeed, all too often it distracts attention from solving real problems; it keeps us from squarely facing our own complicity in our condition, and prevents the African-American community from forging the alliances it needs to bring about real change. But the anger is real; it is powerful; and to simply wish it away, to condemn it without understanding its roots, only serves to widen the chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races.

In fact, a similar anger exists within segments of the white community. Most working- and middle-class white Americans don't feel that they have been particularly privileged by their race. Their experience is the immigrant experience - as far as they're concerned, no one's handed them anything, they've built it from scratch. They've worked hard all their lives, many times only to see their jobs shipped overseas or their pension dumped after a lifetime of labor. They are anxious about their futures, and feel their dreams slipping away; in an era of stagnant wages and global competition, opportunity comes to be seen as a zero sum game, in which your dreams come at my expense. So when they are told to bus their children to a school across town; when they hear that an African American is getting an advantage in landing a good job or a spot in a good college because of an injustice that they themselves never committed; when they're told that their fears about crime in urban neighborhoods are somehow prejudiced, resentment builds over time.

Like the anger within the black community, these resentments aren't always expressed in polite company. But they have helped shape the political landscape for at least a generation. Anger over welfare and affirmative action helped forge the Reagan Coalition. Politicians routinely exploited fears of crime for their own electoral ends. Talk show hosts and conservative commentators built entire careers unmasking bogus claims of racism while dismissing legitimate discussions of racial injustice and inequality as mere political correctness or reverse racism.

Just as black anger often proved counterproductive, so have these white resentments distracted attention from the real culprits of the middle class squeeze - a corporate culture rife with inside dealing, questionable accounting practices, and short-term greed; a Washington dominated by lobbyists and special interests; economic policies that favor the few over the many. And yet, to wish away the resentments of white Americans, to label them as misguided or even racist, without recognizing they are grounded in legitimate concerns - this too widens the racial divide, and blocks the path to understanding.

This is where we are right now. It's a racial stalemate we've been stuck in for years. Contrary to the claims of some of my critics, black and white, I have never been so naïve as to believe that we can get beyond our racial divisions in a single election cycle, or with a single candidacy - particularly a candidacy as imperfect as my own.

But I have asserted a firm conviction - a conviction rooted in my faith in God and my faith in the American people - that working together we can move beyond some of our old racial wounds, and that in fact we have no choice if we are to continue on the path of a more perfect union.

For the African-American community, that path means embracing the burdens of our past without becoming victims of our past. It means continuing to insist on a full measure of justice in every aspect of American life. But it also means binding our particular grievances - for better health care, and better schools, and better jobs - to the larger aspirations of all Americans -- the white woman struggling to break the glass ceiling, the white man whose been laid off, the immigrant trying to feed his family. And it means taking full responsibility for own lives - by demanding more from our fathers, and spending more time with our children, and reading to them, and teaching them that while they may face challenges and discrimination in their own lives, they must never succumb to despair or cynicism; they must always believe that they can write their own destiny.

Ironically, this quintessentially American - and yes, conservative - notion of self-help found frequent expression in Reverend Wright's sermons. But what my former pastor too often failed to understand is that embarking on a program of self-help also requires a belief that society can change.

The profound mistake of Reverend Wright's sermons is not that he spoke about racism in our society. It's that he spoke as if our society was static; as if no progress has been made; as if this country - a country that has made it possible for one of his own members to run for the highest office in the land and build a coalition of white and black; Latino and Asian, rich and poor, young and old -- is still irrevocably bound to a tragic past. But what we know -- what we have seen - is that America can change. That is the true genius of this nation. What we have already achieved gives us hope - the audacity to hope - for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

In the white community, the path to a more perfect union means acknowledging that what ails the African-American community does not just exist in the minds of black people; that the legacy of discrimination - and current incidents of discrimination, while less overt than in the past - are real and must be addressed. Not just with words, but with deeds - by investing in our schools and our communities; by enforcing our civil rights laws and ensuring fairness in our criminal justice system; by providing this generation with ladders of opportunity that were unavailable for previous generations. It requires all Americans to realize that your dreams do not have to come at the expense of my dreams; that investing in the health, welfare, and education of black and brown and white children will ultimately help all of America prosper.

In the end, then, what is called for is nothing more, and nothing less, than what all the world's great religions demand - that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Let us be our brother's keeper, Scripture tells us. Let us be our sister's keeper. Let us find that common stake we all have in one another, and let our politics reflect that spirit as well.

For we have a choice in this country. We can accept a politics that breeds division, and conflict, and cynicism. We can tackle race only as spectacle - as we did in the OJ trial - or in the wake of tragedy, as we did in the aftermath of Katrina - or as fodder for the nightly news. We can play Reverend Wright's sermons on every channel, every day and talk about them from now until the election, and make the only question in this campaign whether or not the American people think that I somehow believe or sympathize with his most offensive words. We can pounce on some gaffe by a Hillary supporter as evidence that she's playing the race card, or we can speculate on whether white men will all flock to John McCain in the general election regardless of his policies.

We can do that.

But if we do, I can tell you that in the next election, we'll be talking about some other distraction. And then another one. And then another one. And nothing will change.

That is one option. Or, at this moment, in this election, we can come together and say, "Not this time." This time we want to talk about the crumbling schools that are stealing the future of black children and white children and Asian children and Hispanic children and Native American children. This time we want to reject the cynicism that tells us that these kids can't learn; that those kids who don't look like us are somebody else's problem. The children of America are not those kids, they are our kids, and we will not let them fall behind in a 21st century economy. Not this time.

This time we want to talk about how the lines in the Emergency Room are filled with whites and blacks and Hispanics who do not have health care; who don't have the power on their own to overcome the special interests in Washington, but who can take them on if we do it together.

This time we want to talk about the shuttered mills that once provided a decent life for men and women of every race, and the homes for sale that once belonged to Americans from every religion, every region, every walk of life. This time we want to talk about the fact that the real problem is not that someone who doesn't look like you might take your job; it's that the corporation you work for will ship it overseas for nothing more than a profit.

This time we want to talk about the men and women of every color and creed who serve together, and fight together, and bleed together under the same proud flag. We want to talk about how to bring them home from a war that never should've been authorized and never should've been waged, and we want to talk about how we'll show our patriotism by caring for them, and their families, and giving them the benefits they have earned.

I would not be running for President if I didn't believe with all my heart that this is what the vast majority of Americans want for this country. This union may never be perfect, but generation after generation has shown that it can always be perfected. And today, whenever I find myself feeling doubtful or cynical about this possibility, what gives me the most hope is the next generation - the young people whose attitudes and beliefs and openness to change have already made history in this election.

There is one story in particularly that I'd like to leave you with today - a story I told when I had the great honor of speaking on Dr. King's birthday at his home church, Ebenezer Baptist, in Atlanta.

There is a young, twenty-three year old white woman named Ashley Baia who organized for our campaign in Florence, South Carolina. She had been working to organize a mostly African-American community since the beginning of this campaign, and one day she was at a roundtable discussion where everyone went around telling their story and why they were there.

And Ashley said that when she was nine years old, her mother got cancer. And because she had to miss days of work, she was let go and lost her health care. They had to file for bankruptcy, and that's when Ashley decided that she had to do something to help her mom.

She knew that food was one of their most expensive costs, and so Ashley convinced her mother that what she really liked and really wanted to eat more than anything else was mustard and relish sandwiches. Because that was the cheapest way to eat.

She did this for a year until her mom got better, and she told everyone at the roundtable that the reason she joined our campaign was so that she could help the millions of other children in the country who want and need to help their parents too.

Now Ashley might have made a different choice. Perhaps somebody told her along the way that the source of her mother's problems were blacks who were on welfare and too lazy to work, or Hispanics who were coming into the country illegally. But she didn't. She sought out allies in her fight against injustice.

Anyway, Ashley finishes her story and then goes around the room and asks everyone else why they're supporting the campaign. They all have different stories and reasons. Many bring up a specific issue. And finally they come to this elderly black man who's been sitting there quietly the entire time. And Ashley asks him why he's there. And he does not bring up a specific issue. He does not say health care or the economy. He does not say education or the war. He does not say that he was there because of Barack Obama. He simply says to everyone in the room, "I am here because of Ashley."

"I'm here because of Ashley." By itself, that single moment of recognition between that young white girl and that old black man is not enough. It is not enough to give health care to the sick, or jobs to the jobless, or education to our children.

But it is where we start. It is where our union grows stronger. And as so many generations have come to realize over the course of the two-hundred and twenty one years since a band of patriots signed that document in Philadelphia, that is where the perfection begins.
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Barack Obama

Regina

Three days ago we received our 20th child, crazy uh?! Her name is Woodjina, but we are going to call her Regina. Her mother is 18yrs old and the baby is 2 months old. She weighs 6lbs and isn’t horribly malnourished, but does have a few signs. Her main problem is her pelvic area and legs. They seem to have some deformities. Dorothy went and got X-rays the other day while I was with the kids at healing hands. So hopefully sooner than later we will know what is exactly going on. She has a sweet smile and is very attentive despite everything. Dorothy is falling in love with her for sure. I think that she will eventually have to get a medical visa to get surgery in the states, or that is what Dorothy is hoping for.

What else another team from Healing Hands came today, so I got to work with the physical therapist on improving my sessions with Poutchino and Frantzo. She also gave some suggestions for working with Regina’s legs until we know what is going on. They were from Canada and very helpful and caring. They brought some stuff for the kids too which is always fun. We are realizing that people send us toothbrushes, but lots of the times its for adults and we cant use those for the kids. We need more child toothbrushes. We change them about every 2 months, which is a good sign the nannies are really brushing their teeth. Sorry that was a side note.

At healing hands this week they had a woman from Canada who works mainly with autistic kids and she evaluated Poutchino. It was great because we have really been wondering about it. She said that she thinks if he does have autism it is a very mild case of it, more than anything chino just has special sensory needs. I cannot think of the exact term that she used, but she gave me some advice on how to help him learn to interact better, know what behaviors are okay, get him to ask for things that he like, etc. it was good.
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What other big things…well Dorothy bought a ticket to the states. She is going to be leaving on the 30th of this month. Looks like I’m taking over J/K!! NO, she is going to the states to get her knee checked out, maybe have surgery, and get some other appointments done that she needs to have in the states. She will be gone for at least 2 weeks. I am a bit nervous, but also excited. PRAY FOR ME LOTS PLEASE. I know it really wont be hard, but you never know what might happen, between getting new babies in, sickness and giving the right meds, Chino having seizures, driving and knowing where I am going…all that I just want to do it well, be prepared and confident, you know. Keep Dorothy in your prayers as she travels and is getting things checked out with doctor and keep me in your prayers, as I will be the boss of the house while she is away.

Okay I think that’s about it for now. Love you all. Miss you. Tasha Rae
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